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Numbers play a big role in our lives. Our social security number, bank balance, our age, our GPA, our tax bracket, our anniversary, screen time, the calories we eat, our IQ, our weight and our grades are just a small list of “important” numbers. Nature did not create these numbers, but humankind puts so much importance on them. Why?

Many argue we must set some type of value to different areas of our life to be more effiecient, productive, and to guage how are lives are going. I am not here to argue the importance of numbers, but I do wish to draw attention to how much importance we put on many numbers.

Like superpowers, numbers can be used for good or bad. Take for example someone’s bank balance. We look at our bank balance and feel good or dejected by it. We get down on ourselves or feel proud of ourselves because of this one particular number. We step on the scale and feel good or depressed by the number that is displayed. It is pretty amazing how our mood can change due to some simple numbers.

Use numbers to challenge yourself, but not to put yourself down. Use numbers as motivation to help others and yourself. As students, you may not have that grade, GPA, or SAT score you wanted. Do not get down on yourself. Use those numbers as a way to challenge yourself and to seek guidance. If your business or job is not giving you the income you want, do something about it. Don’t put yourself down or feel sorry for yourself. Use those numbers as a way to better yourself. Numbers are magical when combined with the right attitude.

Another number is how many days you will live in this life time. More importantly, how many of those days will you be living surrounded by the people you want in your life, doing the things you want to do, living healthy, and living your ideal, dream life. No matter your age, that is the number you should focus upon. In my opinion, it is your most important number. Let us call this your Happy Days. No connection to the old TV show. Your Happy Days should outnumber and dominant your total days. It is your formula for success. Work with your loved ones, your friends, and mentor to make your Happy Day everyday. It will be a challenge in the beginning, but use what you have learned and your mentors to make most of your days, Happy Days.

YD

Getting Up, Getting out of your way, and Get going with your LIFE….

It was in the back of my mind for the last several months. Let me put up my next blog post. However, I kept pushing it off. STUFF always seemed to get in the way. Next thing you know it had been ONE YEAR! One year since my last post. How could I be so lazy and selfish? Yes, you heard me right “selfish.” It’s not like this is complicated. Write about what is on your mind and see if those who read it can benefit from it. However, I was being selfish. I was scared. We all have a story that can help or inspire at least one person in this world. The truth is it could benefit so many. It could be a family member, a friend, a coworker, or a complete stranger. IT IS OUR DUTY TO SHARE OUR STORY!

In an upcoming book , I share my experience of sitting in my own crap, both literally and figuratively. It started as a child and followed me well into adulthood. Not posting this last year is a perfect example of sitting in one’s own crap. CRAP represents so much in our lives. It is the stuff holding us back from taking ACTION. Maybe you should have started that business, made that investment, had that conversation, tried out for a school team or club, asked for that raise, gone on that trip, made that friend, started that exercise routine, started that new eating plan, gotten those 10,000 steps in, written that book, or written that blog post. As you can see, it can be a big list. Sitting in your own crap is times we should have done what we needed to do, but chose not to. Instead, we allowed fear, procrastination, and laziness to win. Sitting in your own crap is warm in the beginning, but after a while you start stinking and need a serious bath afterwards.

SO THE BIG QUESTION…..HOW TO CLEAN YOURSELF UP?

Let me introduce you to the C.R.A.P. system. Sounds crazy and ironic. Fight crap with crap. It can be a powerful way of looking at your current situation. The CRAP system can help you out in any area of your life. The initials in the CRAP system represent the following….

“C” is for Crap, specifically crashing in your crap. It is what keeps us stuck.

“R” is rebounding. Acknowledge our crap and moving on from it. Rebound or getting up out of your crap.

“A” is for action. If you to want to get out and stay out, the best thing to do is to take action daily to keep out of it.

“P” is for paying it forward. Help others to get out of their own crap.

See you soon…..

YD

“C” is for Crash. List all the times you crashed aka sat in your own crap and never got off of it. For example, not trying out for the school team or signing up for that club. Adults, experience it by not asking for the raise or starting a new business or career. Another one is being in bad shape or in poor health. Your list could be endless. However, by writing down your list of times you crashed, it acts as a form of house cleaning. You are getting it off your mind and out of the way.

“R” is for Rebound. When possible rebound from those times you crashed. How do you rebound? Learn from those moments. Writer down what you learned from each of them. You will probably fill a whole notebook and write a novel.

“A” is for Action. Promise each and every day you will work towards that specific thing you have been sitting on. If you want to lose weight, do simple exercises daily, walk daily, eat one healthy meal a day to start with, workout with a trainer, or speak to a nutritionist. Take action daily to get out of and stay out of your crap.

“P” is for Paying it Forward. Help others to get out of their own crap. Start with your own family and friends. Complete the cycle.

Y + C = H

The Challenges we face through out life can be in two forms. Accidental ones (we have no idea they were coming) and Purposeful ones (we knowingly take them on). Examples of accidental challenges could be the following….

Dealing with the sudden death of a loved one, dealing with a chronic illness, being fired from your job, a financial setback, divorce, other failed relationships. They are things that are thrown at us without our knowing or desire. If we had our choice, we would not want them at all in our lives. They can be down right unfair.

Purposeful challenges are things we decide to face and take on knowingly. They could things such as….

Starting a new business, working towards and asking for a raise, working on a relationship, learning a new language, losing weight, changing your career path….

The types of challenges can fall in one of the above categories. However, how we think and handle these challenges follow the same path and can be a powerful source and opportunity for growth. The following formula says it all….

You (Y) x Challenges (C) = Hero (H)

WHEN YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO TAKE ON CHALLENGES YOU BECOME THE HERO FOR YOURSELF, YOUR FAMILY, AND THE WORLD.

WHEN YOU AVOID OR RUN AWAY FROM CHALLENGES, THE OPPOSITE BECOMES TRUE. MEDOCRITY SETS IN LIKE A PAIR OF CEMENT SHOES. THEY WEIGH YOU DOWN AND PPREVENT YOU FROM ACTING.

In the end, that is what life is about. Challenging yourself to be great! Also, it is about challenging your children and the world to do the same.

It is not up to others to tell you what challenges you should face, but it is your job to take them on. Whatever your goals or dreams maybe, make sure you are tackling the challenges that need to be met to accomplish them. Turn these challenges into daily habits that you act upon. That is the formula for success and happiness

YD

There once was a little boy who wanted to be a knight. The type that went into battle riding a horse, wearing shinning armor, fighting with bravery, and living their lives with a code of honor. This little boy did not grow up in a far off land or a time long ago. Instead, the boy grew up in the big city. In the city, knights in the traditional sense were not too much in demand. As many young children, he had big dreams and goals. Some kids want all the toys in the world, some want to be a great gamer, to be a great athlete, to make lots of money, to become an astronaut, to become a world famous Youtuber, or something more. This kid wanted to be a knight. However, as time goes on, many children’s dreams are suffocated by the blanket of mediocrity that society, parents, teachers, and others spread over them. As a result, we allow our dreams to fall to the side. Time tends to cover them up and to be long forgotten. So the boy’s dream of being a knight ended.

Years later the little boy grew up and had a family of his own. In fact, he had a son who was his carbon copy and his mini me. His little son was full of life and brought energy to the entire house. He was handsome, funny, and loving. The little boy wanted to be a knight, but not in the traditional sense like his father once dreamed of. The little boy wanted to be the kind of knight that wore a uniform. His battle field was made of grass and had lines drawn on it. He could not ride into the battlefield on a horse. Instead, he relied on his parents to drive him there. He was not the biggest knight on the battlefield. Most of the time he was the smallest. He was easily knocked down, but always got back up to continue the fight. He inspired his fellow knights and all the spectators around the battlefield. He loved competing on the battlefield. Despite being undersized, he never backed down. He had a natural vision for the battlefield and was able to help his fellow knights to victory. His weapons of choice were his mind and his legs. His foot was his sword. It could cut through the other side’s defense. However, his biggest weapon was how he inspired others.

The biggest person this young knight inspired was his very own father. Yes, the same father who grew up wanting to be a knight himself. In life and as parents, we always look to teach and inspire our children. However, there are times when our children inspire us. Our children can teach us in the most simple yet powerful ways. You see, our children have a pure, simple way of looking at life that has not yet been contaminated by insecurity, fear, mediocrity, and conformity. I am proud to say my young son is a Young Defender and a knight. His battlefield is the soccer field. He inspires so many. Other parents, spectators, and teammates respect his bravery and comment on it. Our version of being a knight may vary from person to person. We may want to be a knight (figuratively) in business, at school, at home, at work, at our temples or churches, or in any area we deem important. However, our desire to be great and to do great things for ourselves and the world should never vary. Thank you Nikhil for inspiring me and reminding me not to give up on being a knight and a Young Defender.

A Rags to Riches Story

The story of Cinderella is a timeless story of struggle and victory. She would not be denied. She had doubts, but she never allowed those doubts to get the best of her. I know a real life Cinderella. Her story is near and dear to me. Here is that story….

She was in her late teens and fresh off the plane. Her world had and would dramatically change. The people around her told her one story, but her heart and mind told her another. She was the typical tom boy with a haircut to match. Her parents told her to just play it safe, but she knew her destiny would take her on a different path. Despite being a vegetarian, her first job when she arrived was at the seafood department at the local grocery store. This was a rude awakening for both her mind and nose. She was in a new world.

She took her studies very seriously. In fact, sometime too seriously. She would stress herself out. Her dad wanted her to avoid college altogether, because of the stress it would bring her. But she knew she had to persevere. She had a goal and a dream. Her parents did not want her to stray far from home. As a result, she drove miles in traffic to school. Despite the frustration, she persevered. She obtained her doctorate and became a Pharmacist.

When the time came for her to get married, others had the idea what the right prince would be for her. However, her idea was different. Her marriage faced many challenges, but she and her prince persevered. Again and again she faced challenges but she would persevere. As a mother, friend, sister, aunt, doctor, and wife she faced it all. Her beauty grew majestic as time moved on. Her smile lit the room, her spirit was contagious and brought energy to those around her. Like a true princess, others looked forward to her presecence.

When the clock struck midnight, her life did not go back to the past. Instead, it reminded her of the greatness she had within and the goals and dreams she had still to accomplish. She is a example to so many girls and women. She is a Young Defender, who constantly is working to CHALLENGE herself.

It was a chilly, snowy January day at JFK airport in New York City. The year was 1967. During those days, arriving planes would park at a distance and passengers had to make the long walk to the terminal. A young lady dressed only in an Indian Sari, a bag in one hand, and carrying her two year old son in the other, had to make the long walk in the snow to the terminal. However, the excitement of being reunited with her husband after being apart for three long years must have kept her warm. This country girl from India was about to start a new life in America.

The young lady accomplished so much in her time in America. She did not go to college or start some successful, famous business. Instead, she was a mom to three boys, a grandmother to seven, a friend, a matriarch, and a dedicated member of the American work force. With the help of her husband, she paved the way for hundreds to live a better life here in the United States of America. She found joy in simplicity. Despite being a factory worker, she enjoyed every day of her job. It was one of her passions. Earning her own money. Her devotion to God and to her husband were other loves. She found perfection in her children and grandchildren and they in her. She was so giving. Whether it be in love, service, food, or money, she gave freely and unconditionally.

In her later years, she spent so much time tending to her plants and to her garden. Her infectious smile grew even larger when talking about her vegetables. They were just like her very own children. Her claim to fame was her energy and vibrant attitude. Even into her 80s, she did not know how to sit. She was definitely destined to live to a ripe old age and would be celebrating her 100th with family and friends surrounding her.

Even when the woman fell ill a few weeks back, there was no doubt she would recover and return to her normal vibrant self. Even when doctors were doubtful about her recovery, her family believed a miracle would come through in the end. However, the miracles we want in life are not always the miracles we get. Indira Patel, my mom died on August 5, 2021 at the age of 81 surrounded by her loving family. In this day of pandemics and family scattered around the world, all her grandchildren, daughters, sons, and her beloved husband were able to surround her bed when her heart took its last beat.

She lived a simple but extraordinary life. That was the miracle. She taught me so much. She was loving, giving, and dedicated. The miracle was the life she lived, the challenges she faced, and the perfection she saw in her loved ones, in her plants, and in life.

I will miss her, but will always remember her. Love you Mummy.

YD

Today, July 12, 2021 is the most important day of your life. No it is not an anniversary, birthday, or holiday. In fact, whatever day you happen to be reading this blog post is the most important day of your life. I am not just saying that to boost the importance of this blog post or its message. The present day you are living is the most important day of your life, because you have control of it. YOU MAY HAVE HEARD THAT BEFORE! You can decide to live your best day, an average day, or your worst day. You can work towards your goals or keep pushing them aside. You make the call. I know some of you are saying what happens when something bad happens. How can you control that? You can not always control situations. However, you can control your attitude towards those situations. Today is the most important day of your life, because you have a chance to choose greatness.

I love reading personal finance and self help books. They are the topics that most interest me. Back in 2008, I remember browsing the book shelf at a local Target store. A book title caught my eye. It sounded fascinating and I bought it on the spot. I was so excited by the concepts and mindset the author was sharing. It was one of those books you could not put down. I remember telling myself I cant wait to implement these ideas. Well in my typical, old ways, I did wait. I waited nearly 13 years. I pushed off ACTING on these ideas until recently. You have heard this one before too, but you do not want to live a life of regrets. Telling yourself, “I should have done this or that”. BTW, the book was THE FOUR HOUR WORK WEEK by Tim Ferriss. I highly recommend reading it.

Remind yourself and your children to go after their dreams and goals. Go after them NOT TOMMORROW, BUT TODAY. A Young Defender always remembers and lives this message.

This week’s message…

Today not Tomorrow is the Perfect Day to Start on your GOALS & DREAMS!

YD

As many parts of the world are still facing the challenges of COVID 19, we in the United States have been returning to normalcy. People have begun to travel and airports are busy again. Myself and the family enjoyed several days in Boston, MA and the surrounding region. It marked the first real vacation, with the exception of a weeklong trip to see family in Philadelphia since the beginning of the pandemic.

I am a big history buff, especially when it comes to colonial and Revolutionary War history. For this reason, Boston is a great place to be. We spent time together (just the Fantastic Four) and with friends too. Whale watching, a ghost tour, a Pilgrim village, Plymouth rock, Salem witches, and colonial history were all part of the trip. The stories about the American Revolution remind me of another type of revolution. The one that occurs in each of our minds.

As time goes on, I realize the difference between one person and another is the beliefs, good or bad one has about themselves. The revolution between the good and bad in our minds is a compelling and constant war. Our finances, health, relationships, lifestyle, and dreams can all depend on winning this revolution. Belief in oneself and your greatness can be attacked by the enemies of inferiority, procrastination, resentment, anger, and unforgiveness.

Who wins this war is determined by the seed of greatness that lives with in us. We must decide if we choose to grow that seed and help those around us to do the same. Grow that seed with the positive words you speak. Grow it with the positive thoughts you think and the actions you take to make your goals and dreams come true. Grow that seed by helping others achieve greatness along with you. Grow that seed via forgiveness, love, and caring.

When we help ourselves and our children win the REVOLUTION in our minds, the world will have no choice but to grow along with us.

Work each and every day to the win the battle in our minds, by choosing your words, thoughts, and actions wisely.

How?

Do not give up on your goals and dreams. Work on them daily.

Read positive books or messages, especially with your loved ones.

Practice nonjudgement of yourself and others.

One of my closest friends and greatest advisors is my wife. For every great man, there is a great woman beside them or behind them. I do not remember the exact quote, but you know what I mean. She reminded last night while we were getting ready for bed that you will never achieve greatness or more in your life until YOU FIRST BELIEVE THAT YOU DESERVE GREATNESS AND MORE IN YOUR LIFE. It was a punch and wake up call at the same time.

I have been a hypocrite. I want my children to have the mentality that they deserve all the fruits that the world has to offer, as long as they put the work in to make it happen. I was putting the work in, but not having that deserving attitude. I believe in delay gratification, but I was taking it too far. I was depriving myself. I was not setting the right example for my children too. I deserved to live in a great neighborhood, drive a nice car, go on nice vacations, live in good health, have loving relationships, and make a great income. Obviously, I needed to put the work in to make this a reality, but first I had to believe I deserved it. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE THAT DESERVING ATTITUDE, YOU WILL FIND WAYS TO SABATOGE YOURSELF FROM ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS AND DREAMS. I feel God and the Universe wants us to thrive and enjoy the fruits life has to offer. WE MUST BELIEVE WE ARE DESERVING OF THOSE FRUITS AND TEACH OUR CHILDREN THE SAME MENTALITY. WORK HARD, WORK SMART, AND PLAY HARD!