Category: Parenting

How a Young Defender stands out & changes the WORLD.

The topic for this blog is simply, HONOR. A YOUNG DEFENDER will do their BEST to live their lives with honor and integrity. Parents would love to have their children live honorable lives. They would love them to honor their bodies, their teachers, their friends, their work, their homes, and their parents. In the good old days, honor had a sacred meaning. As a child, I remember being fascinated by Knights. You know what I am talking about. The Knights from King Arthur’s time. They had honor and a code of conduct that involved every aspect of their lives. They were willing to sacrifice their lives for their beliefs. PRETTY COOL I THOUGHT!

Nowadays, Honor may not be practiced as strictly as we would hope. People abusing their bodies through drugs, alcohol, and food are all too common. People willing to cheat at school, work, or in their relationships. People going back on their word. People disrespecting others using their cell phones at inappropriate times or cutting folks off on the road while driving. The way people talk to each other, especially their loved ones. The examples can go on and on.

As a Young Defender and as a parent, I wanted something different for myself and for my children. I wanted something different for the world. The Young Defender Oath says it all:

I (your name) PROMISE TO TAKE ON THE MISSION OF BEING A YOUNG DEFENDER. I WILL LOVE MYSELF IN THE WORDS I SPEAK, THE ACTIONS I TAKE, AND THE THOUGHTS I THINK & WILL I HELP OTHERS TO DO THE SAME, FOR WE ARE ALL GREAT YOUNG DEFENDERS!

Examples of a Young Defender can live a life of HONOR:

• When a relationship is not going well, a YD will persevere to better it.
• Respecting ones body by eating well and not abusing it with overindulgence.
• Taking Constructive Criticism and doing something positive with it.
• Saying “Sorry” when one is in the wrong.
• Keeping your word.
• Being true to ones marriage.
• Others may cheat at school, work, or in business, but a YD will not.
• Use moments of failure to learn and to grow.
• HELP those who need it.
• Provide a genuine, positive comment to another.

REMEMBER A YOUNG DEFENDER IS NOT PERFECT, BUT SEES PERFECTION IN EVERYTHING AND IN EVERYONE. Living life with Honor is a happier and rewarding one.

Action Time:

Whether you are an adult or child, DO YOUR BEST to make an effort each day this week to commit an Honorable act. I provided some general examples above, but here are some more detailed examples:

• Help a co-worker or classmate who maybe struggling on a task or topic.
• Honor the planet by volunteering in a neighborhood cleanup, starting a home recycling program, or tree planting.
• Honor your parents by giving them a hug and a thanks.
• Parents do the same to your kiddos.
• Commit to a project this week and follow through with it (Exercise, nutrition, volunteer, business, school, club, sport…)

My kids are both Young Defenders in training as are all of us. I received a profound lesson in Honor from my two children this week. In a moment of weakness and an example that being a YD does not mean one is perfect, I lost my temper with my children a couple days back. They both showed Honor to me by not holding any grudge or anger towards me, but instead continued to show me love through a profound, genuine HUG. Honor comes in many of forms, even a good old fashion HUG. Let’s go out there and spread some Honor. Write back with your experiences during this week.

YOUNG DEFENDERS FOR FOREVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Introduction:

You heard it before that being a parent can be rewarding and a challenge.  Unfortunately, we tend to focus on the challenging or negative parts all too often.  I would nag my kids about what they were doing Wrong, rather than stressing what they were doing Right.  Don’t get me wrong, I still loved my kids and still celebrated their victories. However, I believe our own insecurities cause us to overemphasize what someone else is doing wrong, especially our own beloved children.

Brief Background:

I am a husband, father, doctor, and a dreamer. Early in my life, I had a childlike wonder that anything was possible.  I was positive and believed in my self.  As time went on, my mind shifted towards the negative.  I let the normal life obstacles and failures dissuade me from believing in myself and in the world.  I had the attitude of what would go wrong next. I expected the worst. It was not until I took on the journey of being a Young Defender, that I realized anything is possible and obstacles are life’s way of challenging you to see what you are made of.  It was a process, but I began to realize I was made up of some good stuff.  As parents or any adult who influences children, I feel our biggest DUTY is to help our children discover the greatness they have within themselves.  We must do our best to teach them that LIFE’S CHALLENGES are OPPORTUNITIES to grow. When it came to my own children, I felt I was not doing a good enough job in this area.

I have two wonderful kids of my own and nine awesome nieces and nephews. They all are doing the best they know how.  One of my life’s goal is to provide a RESOURCE for them and other children to learn to live a life of fulfillment and joy.  I believe strongly in the Young Defender’s way and what it can teach to all of us, especially children and parents.

My own children needed to work on themselves. They needed to have a large dose of SELF-CONFIDENCE  in their lives.  I wanted them to look people in the eye when talking to them, I wanted them to believe in themselves so strongly that no one could knock them down mentally, I wanted them to look at their failures as opportunities to grow, and I wanted them to challenge themselves and others to be great and really enjoy life.

How to (FOR YOU AWESOME PARENTS):

The first step is to teach our children PATIENCE, but first show it.  Our children are growing and learning.  We are growing and learning as parents.  We all are doing the best we know how to in this moment (I learned that from the late, great Louise Haye).  Is there room for improvement? You bet!

There is a very good chance you did not get any formal training on how to be a parent.  The same goes for our kiddos.  We did not give them a manual on being a kid.  They are NATURALLY learning and making mistakes along the way.  Let use work on coaching our kids rather than nagging them.  Great coaches bring out the best in their players.  We must do the same with our kids.  

ACTION STEPS for Parents (I love this part):

1. Realize you are doing the best you know how at this moment (be PATIENT with YOURSELF first).
2. Realize your KIDS are doing the best they know how (be PATIENT with them).
3. FOCUS on one area at a time (For example, I would constantly nag my son on how sloppy he would leave his room. I would constantly yell and lose patience with him on this matter. I changed my mindset and began to applaud him for times he would clean up and stress other areas he was doing well in. As a result, he improved across the board. I believe SMALL, POSITIVE STEPS DAILY WILL LEAD TO BIG, POSITIVE CHANGES FOREVER.
4. Personal challenge: For this upcoming week, focus on one area for each of your children that you have been constantly nagging them on and actively work NOT to do it. Instead, focus on an areas that they have been doing well (school work, home life…).
5. HELP YOUR CHILD WITH THESE SAME ACTION STEPS (see below).
6. Speak daily, “I am patient and loving of myself and my kids” (I love POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS).
7. Start LOVING your greatness and your PATIENCE!

ACTION STEPS for Kiddos (I love this part TOO):

1. Realize you are doing the best you know how at this moment (be PATIENT with YOURSELF first).
2. Realize your PARENTS are doing the best they know how (be PATIENT with them).
3. FOCUS on one area at a time (For example, as a kid I would lose patients with myself when I would mess up on a test or not speak up when someone put me down). Find an area that you would like to work on (similar to what I mentioned).
4. Personal challenge: For this upcoming week, focus on that area and actively work on it. Remember SMALL, POSITIVE STEPS DAILY WILL LEAD TO BIG, POSITIVE CHANGES FOREVER. If you are hard on yourself at school, find one thing daily that you are doing well at school.
5. Start LOVING you’re greatness and the new PATIENCE you have for yourself!
6. Speak multiple times daily the positive affirmation,” I am patient with myself and loving it!”

HAVE FUN YOUNG DEFENDER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

H.P.