GOING OFF TRAIL…

Just yesterday, a group of us friends planned an early morning hike near the Chattahoochee river just outside of Atlanta, Ga. The weather was pleasant, the scenery was beautiful, and the trail was new to all of us. At the end of hike we all learned a VALUABLE lesson. Our initial plan of starting our hike fell through due to parking issues. With the help of a park ranger, we began our hike on the West Palisades trail about a 10 minute drive from our initial starting point. We had follow the trail along the river until we came to what appeared to be a dead end. Ignoring our map, we decided to go off trail up the mountain. That is when the Challenge and Adventure began.

There was twelve of us plus one dog in our group. We decided to hike up the face of the mountain rather than turn back. It was full of slips, falls, bug bites, and scrapes. We had no clue exactly where we were going just hoping we would get back to the main trail above. We had to rely on each other to get over some tight spots and slippery slopes. We were never in great peril, but it was a little unsettling. No one said it, but I am sure we all had a sense of relief and our egos got a nice boost when we accomplished such a Challenge.

Positive Change can come in a Challenge. Life is similar to our hiking experience. Sometimes we must go off trail to face Challenges that will help us grow. We may slip or get banged up along the way, but the rewards that await can be life changing.

A quick side note. My son fell a couple times on the climb up and leaped a few rocks on the river that seemed far for him. He never gave up and made it. As a result, his belief in himself grew that day. As a parent, I feel my main duty to my children is to Challenge them everyday.

Disclaimer: I am not advocating any crazy or dangerous hikes, stunts, or adventures in the physical sense. However, I do advocate challenging your mind and getting out of your comfort zone.

Share Your Story & Challenges…

Change Comes in the Challenge

When I started the Young Defenders and this blog site, I did for a specific and selfish reason. I wanted to be better in all areas of my life. I realized to be a better man, one must Challenge themselves.

This blog was an opportunity for me to review what I was doing well and what I could improve upon to be better man.

In addition, I realized this blog is an opportunity for OTHERS to share their own experience. Ways they have changed in the face of challenges. It was opportunity for all of us to learn from each other’s experiences.

SO SHARE YOUR STORY WITH ME. TELL ME THE TIMES YOU HAVE FACED CHALLENGES. MAYBE YOU WON OR LOST. MAYBE YOU FOUGHT THROUGH IT OR GAVE UP. EITHER WAY YOUR STORY CAN INSPIRE YOURSELF AND OTHERS.

Add your story to the comments section below or email them to theyoungdefender@gmail.com…

The Challenge: Sell our Home…

A few months ago, I had one of those gut feelings. You know what I am talking about. An idea that suddenly flashes into your head. I WANTED TO SELL OUR HOUSE. The very first house we had ever bought. The house we had been living in for 12 years and in which our kids spent the majority of their lives. The house where we had just finished the basement and deck two short years ago. The house that provided so many memories (good and bad).

Despite all of that, I wanted to take advantage of the hot housing market. The income from the sale would help us with new investments and financial goals. In reality, there was much more to it. I felt we needed to upgrade where we lived, how we educated our children, and just plain get out of our comfort zone. If things are not working, you need to do something different. Do not settle on being average or comfortable. Challenge yourself to be extraordinary and get a little uncomfortable. In that discomfort, positive change will occur. I HAVE GREAT COMFORT KNOWING I HAVE MY WIFE AND KIDS AS MY TEAMMATES (THE FANTASTIC 4) Currently we are living in a 2 bedroom apartment, without any clear idea where we will be moving next. For a guy who is not know for being spontaneous, that can be scary. However, my goal of 2020 being the year I would take on new challenges has kept me focused beyond the uncertainty. We all should take on the uncertainty of life with excitement and love.

You Gotta Believe…

I still remember the night of Febuary 4, 2018. I remember leaning over to my son and daughter whispering into each of their ears the words, “You gotta believe.” It was the final quarter of Superbowl LII. My beloved childhood team, the Philadelphia Eagles were in a tight game with the vaunted Tom Brady and New England Patriots. As so many opponents before them, the Patriots always seem to find a way to win the Championship. This time it was different. This particular fan and the team itself believed it would be different and it was.

Most of life, I was filled with fear and disbelief in my abilities and talents. One of my recent goals at work was to be a published author. I felt it would be a nice achievement in building my resume and build some professional creditability. After receiving the run around from one major journal, the break through came in the Spring of 2020. My dream came true. I was a published author. In fact, the national organization that represents my profession picked up the article and placed it on their website too. A nice bonus. You gotta believe. A Young Defender believes in themselves despite previous inaction, failure, or defeat. Put the work in and your dreams will come true.

As a Young Defender, start challenging yourself and start believing in yourself and in your dreams.

Check out my article below. It was published in a professional magazine targeting Eye Doctors. However, the content can be useful to all. BTW, it is not my best picture.

https://www.healio.com/news/optometry/20200604/the-key-to-a-happy-successful-practice-people-skills-not-pupil-skills

Being a Young Defender = Taking on Challenges

BEING A YOUNG DEFENDER IN A COVID 19 WORLD…

Stop keeping your head buried in the sand

It is safe to say the world will never be the same. It has been nearly FOUR months since the first case of COVID 19 was reported here in the United States. Since that point, terms such as…

Social distancing, PPE, Flattening the curve, Financial Depression, Financial Recession, Stock market crash have been used often.

Life has changed in so many ways. As a doctor, I continue to come to the clinic, but only to see urgent cases. People are dying and stocks are crashing. Even though I considered myself an educated individual, I have had my head buried in the sand too long. There are three types of people. Some one who is not educated on a topic and will never know they need to be educated on it. The second person knows they need to be educated, but never take the steps to do so. The final type knows they need to be educated, takes the steps to do so, and takes ACTION. I was the second type, but I have changed in a short few weeks to be of the latter.

I realized during this whole crisis. I needed to educate myself. I needed to educate myself in my own personal health, in relationships, in business, in investing, and in my personal finances. I challenge you to do the same. Start taking charge of your life and take your head out of the sand.

With many people at home with more free time. Start educating yourself in areas like…

Reading financial statements, including your own personal one

Educating yourself in Real estate and Stocks

Personal health and nutrition

The risks and benefits to Retirement plans and mutual funds

Appreciate TIME as your most valuable resource and to use it WISELY

Educate yourself in building strong relationships professionally and personally

Teach your kids to take on the Challenge

Start a Podcast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe the year 2020 has not been the most ideal way to live life. However, the challenges it presents have made me appreciate so much. I know under great challenges lie great opportunities. As Young Defenders, we are obligated to take advantage of those opportunities and help others to do the same.

Think, Learn, and Act

YD

THANKS MUMMY & DADDY….

THANKS MUMMY & DADDY….

Most of us love to brag about our parents. Even memories of when they would yell at you or nag you as a kid can become fond memories when you become older and take a look back. This post is about me and my parents. It is about their imperfections and perfections. It is about the things they taught me directly or indirectly. I am writing this blog post in the middle of the 2020 COVID-19 PANDEMIC. Although my parents are safe and at home, it made me appreciate them more since I have not seen them face to face in several months.

Little did they know, but my parents were the key influence and foundation for me becoming the Young Defender that I am today. As a parent myself, I never received a manual on how to raise kids properly. We may receive some advice from others or books, but most of it is trial and error. For better or worse, we learn a lot from our parent’s style of raising kids. All parents are doing the best they know how to and my parents were no different.

The person I am today has to do a lot with my own parent’s influence. Both my parents were immigrants from India. After looking at a magazine about America, my Dad decided it would be a cool place to go to. He came here in 1960s for schooling and never went back. He settled in Philadelphia, PA with my mom and oldest brother. My dad is an engineer and my mom worked in a factory for several years before she retired. I loved my parents and all the great things they have done for me and my two brothers.

Here are some of the things I learned from them directly and indirectly:

  1. Financial responsibility (Working hard, saving, investing)
  2. Unconditional love and sacrifice (they gave us so much and never asked anything in return)
  3. The importance of education (sending us to private schools for years)
  4. Overprotecting your kids can hold them back
  5. Fear can hold you back, so go out there and take on the world
  6. Delayed gratification can be good and bad
  7. Sometimes you have to let go of your kids
  8. Living life with honor and a sense of giving back
  9. Children and grandchildren are the most precious resources we have in life
  10. Procrastination is your enemy
  11. Do not waste Anything (This is a fitting lesson during the current pandemic)
  12. Do not keep your kids in diapers (figuratively) forever (Don’t pamper them)
  13. Love what you do for a living
  14. It is OK to love your relatives even if they are not perfect

I am blessed to still have my parents with me. They are one my GREATEST GIFTS and RESOURCES.

THANK YOU BOTH AND LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARUBA…..Blue skies and Blue waters….

A Young Defender’s week on a Magical Island.

As I have said plenty of times before, “I LOVE TO TRAVEL.” Especially to new, adventurous destinations. Aruba did not disappoint. It was Fall break 2019, myself, the wife, and kids flew there for a week. The island had so much to offer including crystal clear waters, white sand beaches, amazing food, and off road adventures. The snorkeling (my favorite hobby) was amazing! We spent so much time in the water and sun, then any other destination prior. More then anything, WE ENJOYED EACH OTHERS COMPANY! I love my family and I am blessed to have them with me in this life time!

Life is so special and amazing. Honestly, you do not have to go to any far off destination to really appreciate what you have, but it is still fun to do so. As a Young Defender, I feel we have two main goals in life. First to enjoy the present and appreciate what you have now (especially the special people in your life). Finally, to aim to do great things for the world around you. The great things can vary depending on your individual goals, but the attitude on how you achieve them is the same.

Just a couple weeks after our latest vacation, I was attending a funeral. It reminded me how our time in this life is in deed limited. So do not waste time on frivolous things. Live in the now and do great things in your life!

HP a YD

It will never be Perfect…so just get Started & Enjoy the Journey..

Don’t wait for the perfect time to start, because it may never come.

Good day to all. It has been some time since my last post. I had a conversation with my son on the way home from his Soccer practice last evening. We were talking about the subject of having goals or dreams, but never starting on them because you are waiting for the perfect time or gathering as much information as possible before acting. I TOLD HIM I WAS GUILTY OF THIS WHEN COMES TO THIS BLOG AND MY COMPANY, YOUNG DEFENDERS,LLC. I let my insecurities stop me from ACTING, especially when it was in my own best interest and in the best interest of others.

Throughout my life, I have followed the same pattern. My negative programs have told me messages like…

“You won’t succeed.”

” You will give up as before.”

“Your not good enough.”

“You don’t have what it takes.”

“Your message or dream is not worthy or important enough to pursue.”

My Motivation to CHANGE…

The time has come where these messages have to be ignored and I must fight through it. My kids are watching my example, like your kids are too. They will follow our example. I do not want myself or them to live a life of unfulfilled goals. THAT IS SCARRY FOR ME!

So here it goes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See you sooner than later.

PLEASE SHARE YOUR STORIES OF DELAYING ON YOUR DREAMS AND GOALS….

IN THE NAME OF HONOR

How a Young Defender stands out & changes the WORLD.

The topic for this blog is simply, HONOR. A YOUNG DEFENDER will do their BEST to live their lives with honor and integrity. Parents would love to have their children live honorable lives. They would love them to honor their bodies, their teachers, their friends, their work, their homes, and their parents. In the good old days, honor had a sacred meaning. As a child, I remember being fascinated by Knights. You know what I am talking about. The Knights from King Arthur’s time. They had honor and a code of conduct that involved every aspect of their lives. They were willing to sacrifice their lives for their beliefs. PRETTY COOL I THOUGHT!

Nowadays, Honor may not be practiced as strictly as we would hope. People abusing their bodies through drugs, alcohol, and food are all too common. People willing to cheat at school, work, or in their relationships. People going back on their word. People disrespecting others using their cell phones at inappropriate times or cutting folks off on the road while driving. The way people talk to each other, especially their loved ones. The examples can go on and on.

As a Young Defender and as a parent, I wanted something different for myself and for my children. I wanted something different for the world. The Young Defender Oath says it all:

I (your name) PROMISE TO TAKE ON THE MISSION OF BEING A YOUNG DEFENDER. I WILL LOVE MYSELF IN THE WORDS I SPEAK, THE ACTIONS I TAKE, AND THE THOUGHTS I THINK & WILL I HELP OTHERS TO DO THE SAME, FOR WE ARE ALL GREAT YOUNG DEFENDERS!

Examples of a Young Defender can live a life of HONOR:

  • When a relationship is not going well, a YD will persevere to better it.
  • Respecting ones body by eating well and not abusing it with overindulgence.
  • Taking Constructive Criticism and doing something positive with it.
  • Saying “Sorry” when one is in the wrong.
  • Keeping your word.
  • Being true to ones marriage.
  • Others may cheat at school, work, or in business, but a YD will not.
  • Use moments of failure to learn and to grow.
  • HELP those who need it.
  • Provide a genuine, positive comment to another.

REMEMBER A YOUNG DEFENDER IS NOT PERFECT, BUT SEES PERFECTION IN EVERYTHING AND IN EVERYONE. Living life with Honor is a happier and rewarding one.

Action Time:

Whether you are an adult or child, DO YOUR BEST to make an effort each day this week to commit an Honorable act. I provided some general examples above, but here are some more detailed examples:

  • Help a co-worker or classmate who maybe struggling on a task or topic.
  • Honor the planet by volunteering in a neighborhood cleanup, starting a home recycling program, or tree planting.
  • Honor your parents by giving them a hug and a thanks.
  • Parents do the same to your kiddos.
  • Commit to a project this week and follow through with it (Exercise, nutrition, volunteer, business, school, club, sport…)

My kids are both Young Defenders in training as are all of us. I received a profound lesson in Honor from my two children this week. In a moment of weakness and an example that being a YD does not mean one is perfect, I lost my temper with my children a couple days back. They both showed Honor to me by not holding any grudge or anger towards me, but instead continued to show me love through a profound, genuine HUG. Honor comes in many of forms, even a good old fashion HUG. Let’s go out there and spread some Honor. Write back with your experiences during this week.

YOUNG DEFENDERS FOR FOREVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How I BEGAN to help my Kiddos to become Young Defenders…

The loving other half, Ashlyn, and Nik.

Introduction:

You heard it before that being a parent can be rewarding and a challenge.  Unfortunately, we tend to focus on the challenging or negative parts all too often.  I would nag my kids about what they were doing Wrong, rather than stressing what they were doing Right.  Don’t get me wrong, I still loved my kids and still celebrated their victories. However, I believe our own insecurities cause us to overemphasize what someone else is doing wrong, especially our own beloved children.

Brief Background:

I am a husband, father, doctor, and a dreamer. Early in my life, I had a childlike wonder that anything was possible.  I was positive and believed in my self.  As time went on, my mind shifted towards the negative.  I let the normal life obstacles and failures dissuade me from believing in myself and in the world.  I had the attitude of what would go wrong next. I expected the worst. It was not until I took on the journey of being a Young Defender, that I realized anything is possible and obstacles are life’s way of challenging you to see what you are made of.  It was a process, but I began to realize I was made up of some good stuff.  As parents or any adult who influences children, I feel our biggest DUTY is to help our children discover the greatness they have within themselves.  We must do our best to teach them that LIFE’S CHALLENGES are OPPORTUNITIES to grow. When it came to my own children, I felt I was not doing a good enough job in this area.

I have two wonderful kids of my own and nine awesome nieces and nephews. They all are doing the best they know how.  One of my life’s goal is to provide a RESOURCE for them and other children to learn to live a life of fulfillment and joy.  I believe strongly in the Young Defender’s way and what it can teach to all of us, especially children and parents.

My own children needed to work on themselves. They needed to have a large dose of SELF-CONFIDENCE  in their lives.  I wanted them to look people in the eye when talking to them, I wanted them to believe in themselves so strongly that no one could knock them down mentally, I wanted them to look at their failures as opportunities to grow, and I wanted them to challenge themselves and others to be great and really enjoy life.

How to (FOR YOU AWESOME PARENTS):

The first step is to teach our children PATIENCE, but first show it.  Our children are growing and learning.  We are growing and learning as parents.  We all are doing the best we know how to in this moment (I learned that from the late, great Louise Haye).  Is there room for improvement? You bet!

There is a very good chance you did not get any formal training on how to be a parent.  The same goes for our kiddos.  We did not give them a manual on being a kid.  They are NATURALLY learning and making mistakes along the way.  Let use work on coaching our kids rather than nagging them.  Great coaches bring out the best in their players.  We must do the same with our kids.  

ACTION STEPS for Parents (I love this part):

  1. Realize you are doing the best you know how at this moment (be PATIENT with YOURSELF first).
  2. Realize your KIDS are doing the best they know how (be PATIENT with them).
  3. FOCUS on one area at a time (For example, I would constantly nag my son on how sloppy he would leave his room. I would constantly yell and lose patience with him on this matter. I changed my mindset and began to applaud him for times he would clean up and stress other areas he was doing well in. As a result, he improved across the board. I believe SMALL, POSITIVE STEPS DAILY WILL LEAD TO BIG, POSITIVE CHANGES FOREVER.
  4. Personal challenge: For this upcoming week, focus on one area for each of your children that you have been constantly nagging them on and actively work NOT to do it. Instead, focus on an areas that they have been doing well (school work, home life…).
  5. HELP YOUR CHILD WITH THESE SAME ACTION STEPS (see below).
  6. Speak daily, “I am patient and loving of myself and my kids” (I love POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS).
  7. Start LOVING your greatness and your PATIENCE!

ACTION STEPS for Kiddos (I love this part TOO):

  1. Realize you are doing the best you know how at this moment (be PATIENT with YOURSELF first).
  2. Realize your PARENTS are doing the best they know how (be PATIENT with them).
  3. FOCUS on one area at a time (For example, as a kid I would lose patients with myself when I would mess up on a test or not speak up when someone put me down). Find an area that you would like to work on (similar to what I mentioned).
  4. Personal challenge: For this upcoming week, focus on that area and actively work on it. Remember SMALL, POSITIVE STEPS DAILY WILL LEAD TO BIG, POSITIVE CHANGES FOREVER. If you are hard on yourself at school, find one thing daily that you are doing well at school.
  5. Start LOVING you’re greatness and the new PATIENCE you have for yourself!
  6. Speak multiple times daily the positive affirmation,” I am patient with myself and loving it!”

HAVE FUN YOUNG DEFENDER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

H.P.